Twenty Minutes A Day

In order to free myself of creative paralysis, I have vowed to write for at least 20 minutes each day, about whatever comes to mind. In general, this will likely be in stream-of-consciousness style and could be a short story, an anecdote, a humor column, an observation or whatever comes to mind. It doesn't really matter what it is, just that it exist.

Muammar6742, Looking For Love

User name: Muammar6742
Relationship status: Married, Man seeking a Woman
For: Producing an heir for my ruling dynasty
Age: 68
Location: Tripoli, Libya

Last logged in: 3 minutes ago
Last Update: 4/10/2011 

About Me:
Hello, ladies! If you find power to be an aphrodisiac, then I’m your man. I’ve been the ruler of a North African country for more than four decades, and I don’t plan on relinquishing power anytime soon! (No-fly zone? Don’t make me laugh!) You may have read about me in your local newspapers recently or seen me on TV, but don’t believe what you read or hear - those capitalist dogs can’t even figure out how to spell my name right.

Anyhow, I’m looking for the right woman to settle down with. And by settle down with, I mean a woman who will give me the male heir I’ve been looking for. Yes, my previous relationships have led to seven sons, but they’ve all disappointed me in one way or another (especially Saif - what a loser that kid turned out to be…don’t get me started LOL!!!!). Let’s face it, even though my lovely Ukrainian nurse tells me I’m going to live forever, I can’t keep ruling with an iron fist for another half-century. It’s just too exhausting being the world’s greatest despot (what, you think Kim Jong-Il is better? As if! Haven’t you seen how that guy dresses???). So I figure I’ll be ready to turn over the keys to a son sometime in the next 20-50 years.

I believe honesty is the key to a successful relationship, so let me be clear about a few things. If you are into “regime change” or “revolutionary uprisings” or “political freedom,” then you should probably click the “back” button and check out someone else.

Conversely, if you are into “state-sponsored terrorism” and “non-sensical ramblings” and “men who carry umbrellas in daylight,” then you should definitely IM me! (I’m always online!!!!)

Physical Info
Height:
Statuesque
I weigh: (optional) The perfect amount
My hair is:(optional) Magnificent
My eyes are:(optional) Fierce
Body style: Does “Adonis” mean anything to you? 

My ideal relationship:
Not much chit-chat. I like ‘em bodacious, but not loquacious.

My past relationships:
Have helped me to become a better person and understand what I want in a partner. And that partner must be ovulating, should be able to arouse me (though not a deal-breaker - thank you, modern medicine!!!!), and MUST love my dog, Sparky. He is the CUTEST!!!!

I am looking for a:
I want a girl with extensions in her hair. Bamboo earrings, at least two pair. A Fendi bag and a bad attitude. That’s all I need to get me in a good mood.

My perfect first date:
Really anything is fine with me. But I must be able to get a good look at your physical characteristics, and you will be given a written test to prove that you are worthy of carrying my heir. If you fail the test, I will still have sex with you, but I will not impregnate you. Or if I do impregnate you, I will not permit that child to take over the country (just ask my other kids ROFL!!!!). Sorry to be picky, I’m just trying to be honest here.

My Ideal Match
Age Range: All the hottest ages
Relationship Status: Virgin
Drinking Habits: She should be able to consume liquids, yes
Smoking Habits: Non-Smoker